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1990 START

This book includes many
matter-of-fact statements.

Stand-alone chapters
that you can reread
or share any time.

I accomplished many
of my first life goals.

Now it's time
to use that experience
to accomplish more.

It will be easier this lifetime.

I will keep writing about it.

Better education for less money.

Children can only gain.
-------------

Children have enhanced my lifetime.

What's so good about this?

I'll try to show you

-------------------

1994

Am I contented?

Did I do enough?

Is this enough?

Should I do more?

Can I really accomplish more?

Have I tried too hard?

It's getting harder?
It's getting easier?

What will I do before I go off
into the sunset?

Now I'm slowing down.

Lost some of my drive.

Is it satiation?

My body breaking down
and losing strength.

I'm becoming shorter
than the glorious body
I grew up with.

Is it time for apathy,
time to retire,
relax?

Smell the roses?
-----------


1994

Too soon our lights go out.

Life doesn't have to be awful.

Life can be glorious.

Life can be exciting
and rewarding.

There's no good reason to stop.

I'm leaving comfortable retirement
on social security to keep
carrying the flag
for better child development

I'm still driven by the belief that,
"students don't have to fail."

My life of magical moments.

I've had a glorious life--
using my mind.

I experienced as many joys
as I could pack into each day.
-------------

What next?

Should I try
to keep my fires alive?

Should I bank the fires?

I am the temporary occupant
of this life.

Defeated by my life's termination?

Is this where I expected to be?

-----------------

CULMINATING ACTIVITIES

Respect for my passions.

Grateful for opportunities
to experience many lives.

Counting off my past rewards
is fun.

Almost as fun as anticipating
future rewards.
-------------------


1992

BELIEFS I HAVE ACQUIRED

The 10 commandments
are almost universal.

Learning is admired.

Writing earns
almost universal respect.

Touch typing
is job security for life.

Beauty is everywhere
you stop a minute to find it.

I now like flowers in my home.

I like comfortable
more than sporty cars.

Sunshine makes happier hearts.

Isolation is foolish and lonely.

I have had all the isolation
that I will ever need.
--------------

CARL'S COMMENTS
TO CARL PETERSON'S MIRROR

I have the mild look
of a grandparent
wanting to avoid controversy.

You are already there,
you have arrived,
and you have met your goals.

Time to explore again,
to put in gas and go again.

In 1999 I want more personal
performance because I have become
hooked on performance rewards.
-------------

1992
Today was a good writing day.

At 6:00 am I was
onto another new standard.

By 1:00 I was reviewing
a printed copy of 6 pages
that are revolutionary
by my conservative standards.

The acceptance was 80 percent?

Perhaps I did the wrong thing?

How much will that cost?

\----------

A Laotian man who worked for us
last year decided to come back
this fall.

Help is more appreciated
in this age of over employment.

I wonder what will happen
to the millions who now hold jobs
and are laid off
in the next downturn.
------------------


1990

SPEAKING

IT TAKES TIME
TO HAVE A GOOD ANSWER
INSTEAD OF A QUIP.

Speaking of
the opportunity to live
and fill their lives
without shame.

When you write your thoughts
you can become rigid.

Tell your story.

In the telling
you will hear your life story.

Discover your pride
in your life.
-------------

1990
If you have worn out your welcome,
find some new interests and people
you can share with.

Now I have permission
to be a grandpa.

-----------

1992 dying
Always in front of you
is the prospect of decay.

93

I have less fear
because I'm not finished.

I have a more comfortable
perspective on dying.

There is less chance
of being short-changed
by life (or being short-changed
by myself.)

The opportunity to do more
leaves me feeling
more relaxed and not so
resentful that life
may be ending shortly.

I'm more relaxed
with prospect of death.

I am resigned
that it will happen,
but I won't be here
to experience it.

I wish that it won't be painful.

Perhaps our living wills
will help with this.

The more I’m satisfied with life,
the more I’m eager to stop
if its too painful.
-----------------

1990

I will never finish this book.

I will just keep adding to it
until one day I will be gone.

I don't have
complete control
of the day I will die.

An accident can happen
to all any of us.

I wrote the obituaries
in case something
unexpected happens to me.

Here's a couple of
possible obituaries I would
have enjoyed seeing in the paper.

Search Ctrl find for obituaries

-----------------

Note: I am still kicking
in 2000.

This journal continues.

I'm not dead yet.

I have been having fun.

I hope you have enjoyed
this second lifetime trip.

I certainly have.
-------------------------

I live my life
as a work of art
to be finished.

Bend into new themes and stories
to be lived and understood.

I half know the answers
I am searching for.

I work toward those answers.

I have themes that support my work.

Let's see whom else I can find
that agrees with me.

I re-write to avoid
the mean-minded ugliness
of the press.

I'm in danger of repudiation
if I don't do my homework.
---------------


LETTER
JUNE AFTER FATHER'S DAY 1999

This was a week for celebrations.

Kathy's birthday Wednesday.

Tuesday with Tracy.

I had a great Father's day week.

Presents,
brunch with Stacey,
dinner and baseball
with Dave's family in Littleton.

I hit the ball five times,
2 runs,
1 out at first,
and 2 forgiven.

First time at bat
for 20 or 50 years?

Tom has two offers on his house
within 2% of asking price.

If he accepts,
he will have the pleasure
of picking out a new house.

Internet is going great.

Setting up my family albums
to share with anyone
who has time.

The geneology file
will work as well.

----------------

A week has gone by.

Mostly quietly.

Guess I will type some notes.

After this trip
my body follows new instructions.

Things to do and accomplish.

Last few days cleared my mind,
senses,
memory,
and imaginations.

Discovering details and reasons
for people's lives.
------------------


1999 August

MY TERRA COTTA ARMY

I have 40 men,
one or two lieutenants
and a general in my platoon.

I also have four horses
and two carts.

Most are small copies
of the buried treasures in China,
but two of the heads
are larger than life size.

When I look at the heads,
I see myself in my past military
and management roles.

I think of my successes,
my non-successes.

The failures were small
and did not kill me
like the men in the statues.

I didn't kill anyone directly.

I suppose the terra cotta soldiers
lived one short life.

I lived many long lives.

I'm ahead.

They were buried
over 2000 years ago.

They bring my thoughts
to the temporary reality
that I am allowed to live.
---------------

SIMPLE PLEASURES

This has been a good week.

Our only 3-year-old granddaughter
is around for her birthday week.

What a pleasure to share
her simple discoveries.

My 7-year-old grandson
is smart as a whip
and tells you very politely
how it really is.

He's so careful and respectful.

I'm afraid he will break
like a humpty-dumpty.

Actually he is big for his age
and probably will be
the world's biggest tri-athlete
when he grows up.
--------------

1999 AGING

When will I RETIRE again?

What would I do?

I retired long ago
when I was 26
and again at 57.
------------

What if you have a stroke?

If I could not type,
I would try to use a voice translator.

Perhaps I would blink my eyes
yes or no.
-----------

2000 440

I write to share my excitement
with living and learning.

This party is to let you in
on something
that should not be a secret.
----------------

1999
10th ANNIVERSARY
OF MY SECOND LIFETIME.

Collections of my musings.

Some painful
but mostly very appreciate.

Consider the alternative.

THE PRICE OF POWER IS HIGH.

In the long run you can earn
the privilege MAKING contributions.

You may not get all the credit
you deserve.

So what?

You have been self-rewarding
for many years.

Your life has been far more rewarding
than you expected in the beginning.

Do we all have an unlimited
need for reward?

I suppose so.

Most of my goals had been
fulfilled by 1988.

I set many new goals and have
had the rewards of reaching
many of them.

I still like setting new goals
and reaching some of them.
-----------------

1994 AT 65

I am living with a rapidly
increasing intensity of life.

I have many escalating dreams
and goals to be accomplished.

I am trying to make sense
of a confusing array of relatively
short term experiences
and involvements.

I'm concerned with being happy.

I want to remain
intellectually honest.

I try to listen to other persons
with reverence and humility.

Approaching death warns that there
will be fewer successes,
no more fun,
done with yourself at last?

My life has been a gift.

Now what do I do with this gift?

What changes can I make
to max my remaining life?

I must have faith
that the intellectual process
can work.
-------------

1990's 240

LOST MY BELIEFS?

No,
I had to flush many of them
down the drain.

The dilemmas of the quest
for meaning.

Who am I?

Who is in charge?

What does my death mean?

Where are the cashiers?

Slow up and miss it?

Speed up and feel a sense of loss?

Able to find meaning
in a variety of contacts.

Share with my students
a perspective.
---------------

1994 AGING

I'm a very honorable,
and now aged person.

One who was kind and lived
long enough to become wiser.

I've been learning to share
and understand other's feelings.

Today I know we are all more alike
and share the same problems
and concerns.

Like all other older persons
I am very uncertain
what will happen after I die.

Except for where my body will lie.

I have built my life
on that understanding.

That's why almost every additional
minute is valuable to me.

I delay many responses.

That is part of why I try
to very cautiously weigh my responses
to almost any question.

I am sure this sometimes makes me
seem ponderous and indecisive.

I have thousands of available answers
and it takes a few milliseconds
to sort through the possible
consequences of each reply.

Sure I could rattle off
a snappy comment,
and too often do,
but first unconsidered responses
can have severe consequences.

I don't like dealing with
the consequences of ruining
my day or evening.
__________________

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